1step2LEAP has been successfully coaching clients all over the world since February 2016. As I close in on a 2 year anniversary, I am sharing a 4 part series, describing how each component of my U- ACHIEVE model works to create lasting results for clients.
Last week in Part 1, I gave the background for the model. I then explained how the client is always in the driver’s seat and how active silence is one of the great ways to help the client access his/her own agenda.
In Part 2 of this four-part U-ACHIEVE model series, I explore the “A” in my model: Assess where you are and where you want to be.
Part 2: A – Assess where you are and where you want to be
You here implies the client or the coachee.
In many coaching conversations, I hear the client saying sentences as follows:
- I know I am supposed to be updating my CV
- I know I should be exercising every day
- I know I should not react this way
- I know I should improve on communication
- I know I have to get out more and network more
- I know I must get organized
- I know I should stop wasting time
I know, I know, I know!
Notice that till now, the client has not even described the current phase and has not even expressed on what he/she really wants to happen.
This very “I know” has the dangers of creating denial and creates strong internal barriers for allowing the process of coaching. It creates an optical illusion and tricks the mind into thinking that because “I know”, ultimately it will be a reality.
In my coaching sessions, I spend a lot of time in having the client to describe the current. The “I know” statements do not tell me what the current real situation is, as these could simply be the result of herd-thinking, self-book adopted thinking or idealist thinking and at times simply denial of accepting the way one currently is.
I have the client express what is happening now. I facilitate the client to assess what is their present in a nonjudgemental space. Once the client has fully expressed the current situation then we can move on to what it the desired outcome – where the client wishes to be/what the client wants to happen/ the priority for the client.
The “I know” statements are rarely the indication of whether the client truly wants the outcome right now. It could be on their long-term agenda but it may not be the burning priority or something that urgently needs attention. As a coach, I invest time in facilitating discovery for what the client wants, not what he/she knows but what he/she truly wants as the desired outcome.
The “A” in this model describes the work that needs to be done in the coaching space.
Where you are – is the starting point of coaching
Where you want to be – is the goal of the coaching
Message to new coaches, aspiring coaches:
Active listening is the key skill for the coach coming into play here. The coach listens for what is trying to come up or what is coming up beneath all the “I knows” and then mirrors it back to the client for confirmation.
Message to those who want to sign up for coaching/ explore coaching:
Spend some time on accepting where you truly are and think where you want to be. Often the “I know “ statements may make you feel that you don’t need coaching as you already know – this is a mind trap and I want to call your attention to it. Where you are is the starting point. For example, it’s good to know what your reaction should be, but it’s more important to own your current reaction. That’s the starting point of the coaching and whatever it is, it’s OK.
Many think that because they know, they can work on their own and coaching will not add any value. The truth is as a coach, I do not add to your “I know” part, I merely channelize that ” I know”. It is at times difficult to do this work on your own. Reach out to a coach, who can facilitate this for you.
Part 1 and Part2 of the model establish the foundation of the coaching relationship. The client gets greater clarity on what is happening and what indeed are the priorities at the present moment. The clients typically feel light and show readiness to move ahead and take on the work required.
Look out for part-3. It will describe the coaching process mechanics at 1step2LEAP…